: I got asked something in a (virtual) (horror) writers room recently, and I answered it. It only just hit me tonight, the general reaction, and I got to thinking about it.
Q: Have you ever written something that really actually scared you, as in you reread it and got legit spooked?
A: Once.
I was the only one who answered "once". Everyone else had few or quite a few all the way up to "all the fucking time". The rest of the gang looked surprised. I didn't think anything of it at the time.
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(cont.)
I am not infrequently surprised by the directions my stories go in, because I rarely start with anything other than an instance or a nifty few lines or little scene in mind. Often all I do is riff until my Muse kicks, takes the ball, and runs. I tag along, or more aptly, I'm in the sidecar taking notes *and* riffing along, if that makes any sense. 🤞
I know my dark side, not to mention my grey side *and* my light side. They're in front of me all the time, really. Also, I don't...
🔽
(cont.)
...get really scared or shocked by what I write because imagination isn't nececelery indication. I also know how and want to tell stories, and so it takes, I believe, a lot of factors coming together, i.e., *really* good writing on my part, to layer in such a way that I say, "Holy shit," when I see it down on paper (or e-paper). I like to think I'm good, but I'm not that good, not to me anyway. Others' opinions disagree, and I won't argue with'em because I like to work.
(cont.)
I might should add that I am the only #neurallyatypical human of the group of eleven. I believe that is almost certainly relevant.
In a nutshell, I know my own mind really well. And my own imagination. I'm accustomed to 5 to 7 trains of thought going on at once without mucking about with each other, though it's often difficult to communicate them all at once. So I see a *lot* of my own thinking and feeling, and so not much I write surprises me too much. Or scares me.
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