I'm looking at washer/dryer pairs in Lowe's and the sales guy walks up and asks what capacity do I need. I told him my current dryer will pack three sets of Queen sheets - flat, fitted, pillowcases, everything - into one corner of one of the fitted sheets. Does he have anything like that? He gives me a blank look for a couple of seconds, says "Let me know if you need anything," and then disappears toward the back of the store. I think he's watching from the break room waiting for me to leave.

This supports my long-held theory that, in addition to the mandatory workplace violence training, all retail sales people should be trained in improv, and have to pass before staffing customer-facing positions. An example of an acceptable answer would be "Yes, and this baby right here receives all the socks that disappear from all the other dryers."

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"I'm not sure but I do believe the instructions mentioned a Heisenberg Compensator somewhere."

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