Wife from kitchen: [mumble]

Me: Speak up! Did you say we are out of time?

Wife: Yes.

Me: Did we have an appointment today?

Wife: No.

Me: Are you leaving me?

Wife [louder now]: No, you idiot, but I'm considering it! THYME. T. H. Y. M. E. We are out of thyme.

Me: Oh. Pretty sure we have parsley, sage AND rosemary, though.

Wife: OK, now I *am* leaving you.

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On "Improv dinner night" I whip something up from whatever is to hand.

Tonight I flash-seared some salmon, then poached it the rest of the way in a creamy wine sauce with sliced carrots and baby bellas.

Wife: This is amazing! Where'd you find the recipe?

Me: In the fridge.

She's no longer threatening to leave me.

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