I've been pondering all the ways girls and women are seeing female protagonists they can relate to: strong, capable and accepting their call to adventure, and how often boys and men are treated as set-pieces in those stories.
I get that this is correcting an imbalance. I celebrate stories that are giving women glimmers of their potential.
But if women know the cost of hollow, cardboard-cut-out representation, are they really comfortable with boys and men being treated this way?
Where are the stories of men which complicate simplistic narratives, which dig into extrinsically-imposed expectations, limitations and obligations, and which deeply challenge social/societal masculine stereotypes?
I mean, why are we so comfortable with masculine gender essentialism, after feminine gender essentialism has been so successfully deconstructed?
I believe that for men to flourish as complex humans, we need to stop telling them they're simple.
@singlemaltgirl I totally agree with you!
I don't buy that bio-essentialism crap either, but here's the thing: I was raised in it. I was *steeped* in it. In the 80s and 90s, everything from movies to sermons told me as a boy-becoming-a-man I was essentially an animal, with practically nothing between stimulus and response.
I credit feminism for blowing that up for me, and articulately exposing the lie.
So yes, to change reality, we have to tell better, more truthful stories.
@sumpnlikefaith i don't disagree that this is difficult b/c socialization. it's been difficult for women & girls as well. we're steeped in the female box. so much so, we still do things for the male gaze, think we need to act certain ways, there are many women who denounce feminism.
no diff than men climbing this very big hill of being put in the 'male box'. what it means to be a man. what it means to be a boy.
check out the work of next gen men or mark greene https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrkgreene.
@singlemaltgirl Thanks for sharing this -- I'm listening to his podcast now. (https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/remaking-manhood)
I appreciate encountering people who take this stuff seriously, without jumping off the manufactured-grievance, MRA cliff.
@singlemaltgirl After I started listening to the episode with Niobe Way, I went on a rather extensive rabbit-trail today, back through The Mask You Live In (documentary), and just finished the episode now.
There is important work being done. We need more -- so much more -- but it's reassuring that there is resonance in this frequency, and that there are people getting loud, in a healthy way, about all of this.
@sumpnlikefaith I am really straining to see your argument here. I am all about desconstructing gender essentialism and challenging stereotypes, but how is this women’s sole responsibility? Last time I checked, male hegemony in arts and culture was still pretty firmly in place. If you want better stories, tell better stories 🤷🏻♀️
@Satchelpooch Sorry, it's definitely not women's sole responsibility.
Indeed, responsibility probably isn't the right word.
I see an opportunity for mutuality in this cultural pivot-point. And I'm seeing it being missed. I'm not trying to impose blame or fault. Mine is more of a lament.
Fascinating discussion. I’m here to learn with two grown sons that are polar opposites and raised the same.
@LnzyHou I think the biggest part of what I'm getting at is recognising the diversity that simply exists.
Men resonate with very different things, and are motivated by very different things. Yet what finds expression in pop culture typically wedges "masculine" into a rather small pigeonhole.
@sumpnlikefaith i think men need to stop telling themselves they're simple. they need to stop using the male bumbling excuse for anything they don't want to do like child rearing or caregiving or housework. or when they're caught w/ their pants down, stop defending themselves w/ "my dick made me do it" bio essentialism shit.
women & girls have been doing it for themselves. but they needed to shout that they could be more than the 'female box' & then demo it. men need to do the same.