Yesterday, someone I talked to on here, got banned. This is someone who made unfair claims and a ludicrous move to badmouth CoSo on Twitter. This is also someone who carries a lot of trauma and who is emotionally not all that stable and who lashed out. It could've been me: I carry a lot of trauma, I am emotionally not stable, and I have lashed out before. I wonder if instead of grace, I will be met with a ban if I act out because I am wounded.
@publickovacs I do know it isn’t much of an offer. And I will say I already miss her.
And I really didn’t like how that all went down either.
I appreciate the ask, especially it comes from a place of empathy and concern for someone who is in pain.
I am not certain that the person you mention was banned or if they self-deleted reactively. Their subsequent behavior suggests that they did so. Regardless, their later decision to tag J on Tw and to make derogatory/incorrect statements about the community was regretfully harmful—to us and to her 😔
I believe you’d receive grace, and I don’t believe you would act that way.💜
@Minholkin
Perhaps I would. Thank you for your message.
We are all capable of behaving poorly and doing things we might later regret.
The continued escalation and attacking just perpetuated a cycle of hurt and further distanced her from folks who care and tried to offer support 💜
You can be sure that if you flailed in trauma-reactive way, folks would recognize and offer kindness—maybe via DM—but folks care and would respond.
@Minholkin @publickovacs I second this. ❤️
@Myana @Minholkin
Thank you both. I hope there remains room on here for the wounded and emotionally messed up.
Absolutely.
That describes all of us, to varying degrees.
It wasn’t/isn’t her woundedness that is the problem—she could have stayed by using the tools to detach from the views she disliked.
But she reflexively deleted and then made significant effort to denigrate the entire community to her Tw audience based on anger with a small few.
That is hurtful and harmful, and surely burned bridges despite that many cared and tried to help here.
😔💜
@Minholkin @publickovacs I followed them and I too think that they self-deleted. Their request for a refund implied that to me; it didn't mention being banned, just leaving.
I've gone through a lot of trauma too but I still believe that I am responsible for the way I treat other people. When I lash out, I apologize. This person didn't. They just kept doubling down.
@Myana
Thank you - those are important points and I appreciate you sharing them.
@publickovacs only if you are rude without.
most of us are post or in active trauma, dearheart
kindness and tolerance is best medicine
🫂
@pennyphilosophy
Thank you. That is an excellent point about most of us carrying trauma.
@publickovacs from the beginning of Time imo
history is a tale of tears
for everyone
✊️🙂
@publickovacs You can always DM me Mel.❤️
@VelvetDuchess
Thank you 💙🫂
@publickovacs that whole scenario makes me very sad. it seems that she felt that science and education were being attacked per se, which is true of some MAGA minions. unfortunately, something gave her that idea here, and it flipped a gestalt, so to speak, where suddenly everything said seemed to be aimed at belittling her.
her education in science and her faith in those cultural goods seemed threatened, both critical to her.
she couldn't handle that and struck out. may she recover balance 🙏🏻
@holon42
Thank you. I appreciate your reading and your spirit.
@publickovacs you're welcome. i watched this happen helplessly. i'm bipolar so i know how those thought triggers an escalate into hallucinatory realms. i'm really sad we couldn't prevent it.
@holon42
That is a special ache that comes with this. I am sorry.
@publickovacs perhaps we will do better next time. there's a lot of emotional problems around these days. a tv ad 🇨🇦 said that 1 in 4 suffer from acute anxiety now. not surprising, but very concerning.
my shrink concurs. his practice is fully booked way ahead.
@publickovacs sorry, yes. it's a failure. not anyone's fault, but nonetheless. i'm sorry we missed it.
@publickovacs likewise, we shared several chats about trauma and grief. What happened was a culmination of events erupting into a TOS violation. I saw the post. It was not kind and was directed specifically.
Now I am so sad about this. Those talks were really really good ones and I’ll miss them.
And I do hope they can find solice. Plenty of us DM’d reached out, tried to be kind and calm. They rejected us directly.
If you ever find yourself there and want to vent my DMs are open for you. 🙏