Other than the alliteration and continuation of the animal thread, this really isn't funny...so I'm removing.

@BlueStateBabe

Please tell me I didn't upset you with my (admittedly awful & tasteless) jokes about my cats.

If so, I apologize, and will offer you one (1) Lucky Cat's Paw at half price - a generous offer if I do say so myself.

Lemme go get the poultry shears; BRB

@netspionage

No, no. When I saw the #cocainebearsequels hashtag, I was just running thru animals and drugs in my head and hit upon rohypnol hippo, but then images of Bill Cosby's victims swam in my head and the last thing I wanted to do was make a joke of date rape. Clever alliteration. But not funny. So I removed.

@BlueStateBabe

Oh, gotcha. Understood.

The offer for the Lucky Cat's Paw still stands 😹

@BlueStateBabe

Hey, uhm...

If you just happened to use some heavy duty shears to obtain a Lucky Cat's Paw, and can't get the bleeding to stop, any recommendations...?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

@netspionage @BlueStateBabe
Is the bleeding from you?

Tampons, stick tampons into the claw holes. And instant glue. Field medicine MacGyvering is needed!

If cat, use whatever you can if you can catch the cat. Murder muffins are difficult!
😂

@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe

Once you get both the rear paws off, it really hinders their ability to jump 😹😹😹

("Yes, Officer, this post right here")

@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe

Man, I am sooooo going to jail 😹😹😹😹

@netspionage @BlueStateBabe
😂😂😂

But just think, no one waking you up for treats and feedings!

@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe

Yes, how could I forget the joys of starting my day with a cat's anus mere inches from my face 😹🤮