Wednesday problems, an incomplete list.

1. Made her basic.

2. Took the love out of the family. The Addams are not supposed to be dicks to each other.

3. Wednesday’s whole personality is that she likes black.

4. Supernatural stuff, is it known to exist by the general public, or not?

5. They keep acting like Wednesday is a scary monster but the school is literally full of vampires. Who literally murder people to eat. But *she’s* the weirdo?

6. I’m sorry, but the lobby of their school looks like my college and that just takes me right out of the ooky. Mysterious. Soooky. Fuck that place.

8. Ooh. But this Harvey goes to therapy. Good for him.

10. Enough with the shitty quips, little girl. You’re better than this.

12. Danny’s gotta fucking’ Elf, Man. Whiiiiimsy AF Bitches.

14. You know who probably gives a world class handjob? Thing.

15. This asshole is the whitest damn Urkel ever. Did heeee do that?

16. Everyone spouts off the most obvious quips and it’s fucking awful. I’m officially hate-watching Wednesday.

17. You can't attempt multiple murders in episode 1 and settle for humiliation thereafter.

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18. And now it's Race for Your Life, Wednesday Addams.

19. Vampires love these sunny days in the water.

20. If your principal can’t shape shift, you’re at the wrong Monster Academy! I mean Hogwarts! I mean Nevermore!

21. Unsurprisingly, the call is coming from inside the school.

22. If y’all don’t wanna be found, don’t have your secret society leave clues behind. Nancy Goddamn Drew is gonna sniff you out, fuckos.

23. How Now Pilgrim? The proper greeting is What Cheer, you fucking imbecile.

24. If my predictions about this show are at all off base, I will be fucking shocked. Predictable writing, predictable plot. Please surprise me, Ms. Addams.

26.This show. This fucking show is killing me, Smalls.

27. If grizzled adventurer Wednesday is canonical, lame. If it's performative, see #1.

28. The world isn’t always black and white, Ms. Addams. Sometimes it is red all over.

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