A useful book on things you need to do when a loved one dies: https://ms-demeanor.tumblr.com/post/187765090397/saffronhare-ms-demeanor-hey-you-know-how-i
I could have used this recently. Please read up on this sometime and please have a will: not having one just screws over your loved ones.
@koavf when my mum died, i had to do everything. she knew she was dying but never did a will. she did tell me everything she wanted for her funeral tho, the cost of which fell to me.
she only had debts but getting all the certificates & cancelling everything was such a pain in the ass. it was another full time job.
i vowed i'd never do that to my son.
so i made a death book for him. will, life insurance, assets, etc. prepaid cremation. he knows my living will/organ donation wishes, too.
@singlemaltgirl Speaking for him and for her, thanks. This can be so complicated and you have to make very difficult decisions and navigate very opaque bureaucracies when you are not in your right mind. You just make the plan once, review it annually to make sure nothing big has changed, and tell two or three persons where the thing is held. I hope your boy can forget about your death book for a long time, but I am glad that he will have it when he needs it.
@koavf for me, the convo about death has never been just 1 big convo. as a single parent, i wanted my son to have some assurances & not feel scared about what would happen if i died. i've normalized death as much as i can w/ him. he's an adult now. we're at the point he can joke 'how much do i get when you die, mom?' & we laugh about it.
i have no doubt he'll grieve. but he'll also be prepared as much as i can in the time i have w/ him. i think that's a gift we can leave our loved ones.