DJT sobbing like Tonya Harding did over her laces: "Somebody tried to assassinate me! Those bullets were real! Biden is a loser and a failure, and he won't even come back to finish debating me! I had mechanical problems with my plane, and that made me late to my rally! Traffic was terrible: that's why MAGAts couldn't make it to the rally! Kamblabla is a total bitch to me! And now my campaign something was hacked!" Boo fuckin' HOO. DRINK BLEACH!#politics
Follow
"Honest! I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts! It wasn't my fault! I swear to God!"
😎