"Is it necessary?" seems to me is the filter that folks should have especially moi.
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@YouInMyEye Bishop Desmond Tutu said they used two questions when teaching children self discipline:
“Was it kind?”
“Was it necessary?”
He then suggested in the next paragraph of the book (Made for Goodness and Why This Makes All the Difference, written with his daughter Mpho) that the world would be a much better place if adults stopped to consider these same two questions before they spoke or acted.
From your lips, brother.