@MLClark Both parents?! I'm so sorry.
My mother was as trapped as the rest of us. I asked her years later why she didn't call the police. She said she would have no income to feed us and pay the bills. So she endured.
Those social services are available today, but they weren't available during my time.
It was worse for you because it was both parents -- not to mention you were trained to lie to the authorities. (1/2)
@MLClark I know now that my father was transferring his insecurities and frustration onto us. But that doesn't excuse it.
When he was whipping me, calling me a failure, he really meant himself.
He had many years to fix it but, until the day he died, he never once apologized. In fact, he doubled down at my wedding by saying we all deserved to be beaten. I extended the olive branch by inviting him. But he just had to be an a**hole. (2/2)
There are all kinds of helpless situations for kids - all terrible, all traumatizing, and all *undeserved*. I'm not surprised you never got closure from him - but I am sorry you didn't. I'm sorry you and your mum were trapped.
It was hard having a violent mother, too, because the social rhetoric was all about violent fathers. Everyone has excuses for a violent mother.
BUT my mother did amazing work on herself after finally leaving. Our relationship is much better as adults now.
@MLClark Glad your mother repaired herself and your relationship.
You have to π΄ and I have to go run errands. We should DM about this some time. I know it helps to talk about it, especially with someone who's walked that lonely road.
I got my brains from my father, but my heart from my mother. If it were the other way around, I'd be a Trumper. π€£
Off to run errands. Thank you for being you.
@WordsmithFL
Even with police coming to my house because of my parents (plural), we kids weren't protected, and it was way too easy for me to trick the social workers - something I was taught to do because if I didn't, my siblings and I would be taken away and split up and it would be all my fault. So, I have deep deep empathy for kids in distress. They never choose the nightmare into which they're born.
Glad you survived, Stephen.
The world is better for your presence and healing within it.