Uh whaaaas happening hot stuff?

Kid Rock is music for people who buy fireworks because thy can't afford guns.

JD Vance's couch: "So, can we do more than missionary?"

ale Law School: "You did NOT put couch fucking on your application sir!'

JDVANCE

JD Vance jerks off to barstools.

I bet JD Vance's kids were conceived on a couch.

ZZZZZZZZING

Love seats are for when JD wants a "quickie."

The French: "Oui oui, zee JD France eez kinky!"

Hey JD, go sleep on the couch is literal, not a fucking sexual suggestion.

JD Vance to his couch: "Is that dog hair or are you just excited to see me?"

JD Vance going to furniture stores as to serial killers stalking their next victim.

JD Vance search history:

leather
suede
scotch guard
sectional
plush
day bed

IKEA had to send JD Vance instructions on how to fuck their furniture.

Ewwww gross. The couch JD Vance fucked was 88 years old.

JD Vance's wife: "I'm mad at you. You'e sleeping on the couch tonight."

JD: "Oh hell yeah!"

Imagine how awkward "movie night" is in the Vance household when everyone is sitting on the couch.

You should see what JD Vance did to his La-Z-Boy.

JD Vance started off right. He lost his virginity to a love seat and worked his way up.

I had JD Vance over for coffee and he got my couch pregnant.