@Siren_six i did give my kid:
- healthy boundaries
- a safe place to talk to me about everything and anything, even stuff i was deeply uncomfortable about
- the oppty to express emotions and to find coping strategies that didn't include burying or ignoring them
- a parent who didn't beat him or verbally abuse him
- encouragement in the things he wanted to do and be even if they weren't the things i had hoped he would do & be
in essence, what i didn't have as a kid. plus the material stuff 😉
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@singlemaltgirl I would’ve been happy just with regulated parents who didn’t shriek at each other, lol. I do focus on being regulated around my child. Nobody needs what I had.
It’s always good to try and be better. 👍
@Siren_six in hindsight & age, i think my parents really did try to do better than their parents. they just had so much intergenerational trauma, their 'best' would be pretty awful by most standards.
i can give them grace now. i learned what not to do from them. & w/ my son, we broke the cycle.
i do think they tried. but screaming, yelling, & fighting is what was normal for them.
you're right that no child should have to deal w/ that.
i'm so glad you're self aware for your own child. 👏🏾