Some pretty good tweets of yore:
@wildethingy
My grandfather was such a brave man. Even while dying for want of a blood transfusion - when nobody knew his blood type - with his last few words he kept begging us all to be positive.
@joshgondelman
I can tell how old you are by how loud your printer is.
@bedizzle
Rudy Giuliani has been taken to Walter Reed Pool Supplies.