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Some pretty good tweets of yore:
@WilliamAder
Salesman: What's it going to take to put you on this Peloton?
Me: Photoshop.
@tweetcomedian
How many people have to die before we get serious about finding a cure for natural causes?
@Rollinintheseat
Who called it an allergist and not an antisneeziologist?
@JustinWolfers
Where does a mansplainer go to get a drink when he's thirsty?
...from a well, actually.