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Some pretty good tweets of yore:
@cschleichsrun
How can you say being a mom is the hardest job in the world when there's a Scottish mailman out there who has to deliver to Brigadoon?
@aimlessamers
Each time my mom puts an inspirational meme about finding the right man someday on my Facebook wall, a cat is auto-shipped to my house.
@amydillon
I haven't tried heroin, but I imagine the rush is like remembering I have pie in the fridge.