Some pretty good tweets of yore:

@jazmasta
*looks up from phone*
"I do"

@kaebot
Our elevators smell so strongly of bleach that I fear I am both an accessory to a crime and also blonde now.

@DJRotaryRachel
Every woman has her date bra and her fat pants and her crying shirt and her murder wig and her courtroom brooch.

#twitter #funny