3 pretty good tweets of yore:
@MarkAgee
Every time you call Taylor Swift a 'country artist' Johnny Cash kills a guy in an afterlife life barfight
@IamEnidColeslaw
Every full moon I transform into a divorced Realtor named Mindy. It's hell.
@BillMc7
Thought I saw Guy Fieri in my kitchen but it was just a pineapple