5 pretty good tweets of yore:

@MarkAgee
Every time you call Taylor Swift a 'country artist' Johnny Cash kills a guy in an afterlife life barfight.

@IamEnidColeslaw
Every full moon I transform into a divorced Realtor named Mindy. It's hell.

@BillMc7
Thought I saw Guy Fieri in my kitchen but it was just a pineapple

@behindyourback
Texas: When We Say We're Christian We Mean That Part In The Bible Where The Innkeepers Wouldn't Let Mary & Joseph In

#twitter #funny