@EmpressofEnby I'm your huckleberry.

"Hi there! Are you or someone you know looking for help with numbers? Well...look no more! I've got the solution to all your math-related problems: Mel! How good is Mel, you ask? Let's just say that they recently scored 100% on a math quiz. That's _all_ the percents! We're currently offering Mel on a first-come, first-served basis, so don't delay and talk to your local math representative now about how Mel can help you with all your number problems!"