Really struggling tonight. Claus has been gone for over 2 months but sometimes I see something out of the corner of my eye and immediately think "oh hey Claus" but it turns out to be a bag, or something else. Sometimes when I feed Ruby I check the door for Claus.

I feel guilty, like I didn't do enough for him or that I gave up by having him put down, even though the vet said he only had a few hours to days left. Did he know?