First grader playground reports are harrowing:
“Mom, I scraped Charlie’s eye today. There was blood.”
“What?!”
“Charlie tackled Liam because Liam pounded on me.”
Wait what?!
“Then Liam tattletaled on Charlie for tackling him.”
“Let’s go back to the eye blood…”
“I scraped him by accident when he tackled Liam to stop him pounding on me.”
“Why was Liam pounding on you?!”
“Because he is Felix’s best friend.”
“I thought you and Felix were friends?”
“We are. Liam was jealous.”
Yeesh.