#venting
Had to throw out the troublesome roommate tonight. Rest of the household backed me up, even though it leaves us one car down, and with someone who just started a new job, so someone else is going to have to drive them.
Frustrated, angry, sad.
We're just too close to the cliff's edge in this house. We can't afford a mooch who creates drama and causes fights.
Everyone was like "how will we make up their rent" and I'm like "I've been covering their damn rent for months! We already are!"
What frustrates me is I'm a very direct person, who says things like "if you do X, I will respond with Y" and I mean it.
Things like "if you are a mooch and keep picking fights with people and slamming doors and throwing tantrums and leaving firearms lying around, you can't live here any more."
I have to live here, and I will have peace in my home.
🫂 There is a serious mental wound that comes from having to cut someone out to protect the rest. It's an act of force we don't like to use, and it sits on us psychologically for a while after we have.
But the pain of such disruption is worse than not feeling anything over it at all.
Take good care of your unsettled heart today Luce. Go gentle with yourself, as with others adjusting to the change.
Holding people accountable can really hurt. It's also an important form of care. 🫂
@MLClark It absolutely does feel like a wound. It feels like injury to my spirit, self-inflicted.
But better to feel pain in my knuckles than to continue to take hits on the jaw.
@MLClark 🖤
Thank you for saying.
It does hurt. It's supposed to hurt when things like this happen, when friendships fail. It's not supposed to be easy to stop being someone's friend.
But I've got to look out for the rest of the household, including myself.
It's okay to stop being around people who keep being hurtful.