Nothing gives you clarity like seeing how people *don't* show up when something goes wrong.
The uncle who sends multiple 20-min VMs about his life? Radio silent after my last reply, in which I mentioned my job loss.
Ditto with a friend who expressly asked me to tell him how last week's meeting went. Silence since Thurs.
And a fellow who always sends me a long Sunday email couldn't be bothered to put in a word responding to my news.
Sometimes I just serve as a sounding board. ๐ Call me ELIZA.
๐ค That makes me extra honoured that you risked sharing your work with me. I hope not for the last time. I really appreciated being able to show up for a lovely human being like you, who does so much for others.
@MLClark Pfft. It was you doing me a favor. I appreciate that more than you know.
@MLClark ugh, that sucks. Hope your job & friends/family situations get better soon.
Thanks, Roy. Super kind of you. Hope your own week's faring well!
@MLClark I'm sorry. ๐ค ๐ I hope things start looking up today.
Thanks, Lindy! ๐ค๐ Knowledge is power, so we pay attention when people tell us who they are and work from there. :)
@MLClark Yes, indeed. That's a big help, that paying attention and believing what they tell you.
@MLClark Hey buddy. If there's anything I can do please let me know. We'll find our way forward.
@MLClark it's part of the reason I don't have friends now. I was the sounding board, the counselor, but they wouldn't give me the time of day when I needed someone. I tired of the vampires so I changed the dynamic. Eventually they went away.
@MLClark itโs an eye-opener, for sure and it hurts. At my lowest, I found no one, but myself. Maybe thatโs why they call it โat your lowestโโฆ.you search high, only to reach the lowest and find yourself.
Iโm sorry that this happened to you. It mustโve made you feel unimportant and unloved. I can assure you that you ARE important and very much loved โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
@Valkyrie_D @MLClark It's wild when you're the one always helping others doing for them - even if it's small things - and then when you need a hand or a friend they are all too busy.
I'm so sorry you know that feeling as well. This whole nightmare of a month for you on the home front is a time when you *should* be able to count on reciprocal aid. I'm so sorry it's been so freaking hard. I hope you can hold strong to your sense of worth irrespective of others' failures.
@MrGoat I hear ya. Makes you feel used and like you donโt matter. ๐ Sometimes people only come to you when they need something or have a problem, but when you need something (especially just someone to listen), no oneโs around. It hurts. Often times, I mutter to myself, โIโm not a f*cking therapistโ. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
@Valkyrie_D @MLClark @MrGoat I am the 3am friend. The one that gets out of bed if you need to talk over coffee at Dennys, sometimes just being there to listen when everyone else is sleeping and once even drove 3 hours one way at 11pm because a friend was stuck in a bad situation.
Yet I know too well what it feels like to be completely alone.
@SatuUnelmia ๐๐๐๐ Youโll never be alone, here. If ever you need someone to just listenโฆ.Iโm here for you.
@Valkyrie_D @MrGoat @MLClark Same here ๐๐๐
@Valkyrie_D @SatuUnelmia @MLClark Likewise - anyone could ask to me to spawn a call and make it private and talk. Just @ me
@MrGoat ๐๐๐ @SatuUnelmia๐๐๐@MLClark๐๐๐
And THIS, right here, is why I love CoSo and all you amazing people โค๏ธ
@Valkyrie_D @MLClark @MrGoat thatโs exactly how I feel about this community.
I'm sorry it happened to YOU. โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Thankful for your empathy, but I so wish fewer of us had this experience firsthand.
You are so loved and so important, too.
โค๏ธ๐ซ
@MLClark โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
I have found more comfort / support from the amazing people, here on Coso, than from my IRL family and friends! I love this community and I feel blessed to be a part of it โค๏ธ
@Valkyrie_D @MLClark You both are wonderful people and shine brightly. Coso is better because you two are here.
People are the reason #cosorocks
@NiveusLepus โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
@MLClark Hugs. Losing work is a huge stressor, very frightening.
having been financially insecure my entire adult life, i sympathize with the stress you must be feeling now.
sometimes people just don't know what to say when they get that kind of news from you.
it stimulates one's own anxieties, especially these days.
it increases the feeling of loss, for everyone really.
consider the story of Job. who came by? what did they say?
human, all too humanโน๏ธ
they may respond once they've had a chance to process. ๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป
may all be well soon๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป
@MLClark that sucks. Seriously. So many hugs. I'm...kinda getting that from some folx lately. Yeah, I've been in a mood of late, but they've had moods, too.
Anyway. Hugs.
Been a rough road for a bit, eh? I've seen you working through a lot of emotions bigger than words can sometimes express.
I'm really thankful you're still trying to navigate them as best you can. May it all get easier for us both, and many others in these rough times, sometime soon. ๐
@MLClark thanks for the good thoughts.
Realizing you've missed the boat on achieving your dreams is really hard. Especially since I can see the time running out on me. Nonetheless, it's time to come to terms with myself, and realize that it's time to put aside great ambitions. Takes time to do that, though.
@MLClark
I'm sorry people are treating you like that. Please know it has nothing to do with you and shines a light on who they really are.
๐ซ
@MLClark I try not to spend much energy keeping in touch with people like that.
Oh, 100%. Fool me once, shame on you, etc. Now that I have this new data, it's my responsibility to put it to use. ๐
@MLClark It's really easy for people with senses of loyalty, compassion, duty, and other positive traits to kind of get hornswaggled into spending a lot of attention and energy on people who are _gaming_ that, whether they do it consciously or unconsciously.
I don't think anyone should ever feel bad that they got fooled into bg nice.
@MLClark
I am very sorry. I recently found that my cancer served as a litmus test of who my true friends are. Lots of clarity, some of it rather painful.
Oof. I've heard that this is often the case with cancer: that, and the real moment when partners either shine or reveal themselves as awful in a time of need.
As much as some say it's better to find out who your real friends are, it's never fun. I hope you found some real diamonds in the rough, as well, in the process. ๐
@MLClark
Why Iโm sitting here debating sharing my health news
You do whatever you feel safest doing, Chalk. There's no right answer, and you don't owe anyone disclosure if it's not going to help you in your health and recovery journey.
I'm so sorry you're sitting on something heavy. I really hope you have folks you can trust and lean on, no matter what.
Your top priority is your own healing right now. Full stop.
@MLClark I get that. Know it well. ๐ค