I was never good in classroom environments. I was bullied and beaten in a Guyana catholic school. My default, even today, is to wall-up, switch-off; go blank.
I'm on the most soul destroying course this week. Tutor guy has an abrupt, shouty voice, reminds me of being in school; he's even singling people out with questions, critical of answers. It's disjointed and confusing.
It's got me reverting to default and it angers me, except now I'm a fucking grownup and a Sith lord in snark and sarcasm.