I'm the person you want to cook for a party. I'll go early, set things up and put things away later.

I'm NOT the person you want at the party unless it's a bunch of HoH or deaf people. Noisy environments are killers for the hard of hearing.

I got up and walked away while they were banging boxes of jingle bells as a game. What game? Got me.

The people who know I don't hear well can't remember. Even the person who teaches ASL.

People wonder why I almost never go to parties.

@J_Windrow Please forgive me if this is a dumb or insensitive question. I truly mean no offense. Why would you be uncomfortable at a loud party? Hearing people might not be able to hear and understand one another, but wouldn't you read lips as well as if it were silent? Some deaf people have trouble speaking understandably, which might be worse with noise, but the same goes for people with a strong accent. Clearly I'm missing something.

@walterbays I'm one of moderators and instructors of the writing group whose party I attended today. If I wasn't in the hierarchy I wouldn't have gone.

That said, I'm constantly reminding everyone I can't hear. Once I wore a shirt saying that and people still forgot. It's like: I know you can read and it's right on my shirt.

I provide specialized packets for deaf/HoH writers so that everything in the lecture is in writing.

I insist we accommodate all disabilities.

@J_Windrow A group or company should be able to accommodate, an individual usually lacks the means. At supermarket my bagger was HoH, I guessed when she didn't respond to my statement that she could put groceries back in the cart and I would pack into my roller bag. (Too much trouble to ask of a bagger). She asked me something I couldn't understand but accompanied it with gestures. I tried to explain with gestures that she needn't bother.... (cont')

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@walterbays Have you heard of CART? When I was practicing law the courts provided me with CART in the courtroom. It's still done, but I'm thinking Otter.ai may move into the field... except, if I had a deaf/Deaf client there really needs to be (1) a large screen to show the words and (2) a legal interpreter for the Deaf (if they sign) and sometimes (3) a Deaf interpreter to explain the legal interpreters signs to the Deaf/deaf client.

@J_Windrow No, but I see CART now. Seems like it would be much more expensive than machine transcription, but without the enormous blunders robots sometimes make, rather important for a courtroom. The California court web page on CART notes a possibility of using newer tech like assisted reality glasses. Imagine someday glasses that show you ASL for those like me who don't speak it.

@walterbays CART relies upon a human transcriptionist who loads her machine with sounds. It's like shorthand. Each sort of court hearing has a language of its own and sometimes things come up where the right sound package isn't there and the transcriptionist has to make do.

Generally tons better than AI, but the AI is improving.

Otter.ai is now being used by educational institutions to caption online lectures with a transcript for the student.

@walterbays I don't go to movies, but my Deaf/deaf friends who do say that half the time the glasses that show cc's are broken. I'm not holding out for the courts to get VR glasses.

The problem isn't us communicating with you. The problem is hearing people not communicating in a way we can understand.

@walterbays FYI, I'm a writer, a published author, and I don't need someone to speak in ASL to me if they can text. However, in a party situation where it's noisy, then I'd rather people did sign.

Frankly, I can hold conversations with people across a two lane highway using ASL.

However, where I am now has almost no Deaf community. In Boston ASL was common as there's a huge Deaf community there and in Framingham.

@walterbays what I do not understand is why people cannot remember someone has a disability.

People complain constantly that I don't talk to them. When I walk the dog I wear a shirt that says I'm HOH. Are they too stupid to understand what Hard of Hearing means?

My sister says they forget.

I call them toxic because they can't be bothered to read the lettering on the shirt.

Considering, I'm just as happy not to deal with jerks.

@J_Windrow So at a party the problem isn't too much noise, but too many overlapping channels at once. It's something of a problem for hearing folk too, people talking over one another, and I can't understand the interesting author because two loudmouths are shouting over her. If we could get away to a quiet corner and talk 1 on 1 it would be better. Kinda like texting with you now. Anyway, thanks for your patience.

@walterbays people say, oh, it happens to everyone. It's hard for you, but your brain is used to sorting sounds.

Your brain values the sound of a human voice over a barking dog. It values that voice over the sound of a car.

I lack directionality as well. One ear. You can't go into a corner and talk to me in a noisy room because I'm overwhelmed. My brain doesn't sort relevance at all.

Men's voices are easier.

@walterbays - the hard of hearing woman and the blind guy were quite the couple too. I learned all about the tech accommodations for the blind such as Jaws For Windows and he got to learn how to communicate with someone with a hearing deficit that gradually got worse.

Tech use among the blind and deaf/blind is also high. D/B are are huge on using iPhones interfacing with braille writers and telling them someone is at the door, etc.

Not all deaf/blind are totally deaf/blind.

@J_Windrow Re HoH/blind couple: kind of puts it in context when other married couples complain about their difficulties communicating.

@walterbays all relationships take work. He had excellent hearing. I was his sighted guide. He paid attention to enunciation of words. Sometimes he had to spell a word so I could clarify.

People have to invest in communication. It’s not easy. We’re not mind readers. Too many people expect the other person to just know things.

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