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My best friend just turned 85 and as I congratulate him, he says the following!

There is an upside to being old
-People are much more considerate
-I can forget my marital duties
without fear of the consequences
-My kids (all adults of course) vie for my affections and my material possessions
-Real life events, for the most part, have no relevance for me
-I no longer care about "what will they think"
-I can speak my mind quite frankly and nobody feels offended

The downside....

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