@sfleetucker I'm sorry to read about your dad. The passing of a loved one is emotional and each person involved, whether adopted or not, is deserving of compassion in these moments.
The past years may have given time for a range of emotions to be felt, but still be kind to yourself on this journey of loss.
Especially with the bursts of relief that your dad is not suffering mixed with the pain of not seeing your dad one more time.
May his memory be ever in your heart.