My dad died of heart failure today.
We weren't close, but we weren't exactly estranged, either. I've known this was likely for a week. I talked to him a few times, but he was not always coherent.
I had a lot of complicated feelings at first, and have had good support from folks close to me. I realized a lot of me was grieving for the father he never was, the father I wished he'd been.
I'm sure it'll hit me later.
@tyghebright Everything you are feeling is ok. Sometimes a family member’s death brings us feelings of ambivalence and relief and even freedom. Everything you are feeling is ok. ❤️🙏❤️
Were you able to say goodbye to him? Did he recognize you? Lots of factors go into grief.
Take the time you need to process this change in your life. It's a rite of passage after all.
I was able to talk to him a few times over the last week. He was varying degrees of lucid, but definitely aware he was talking to me and usually aware he was saying goodbye.
@tyghebright @JGSchaeffer
Sounds like as good of last visits as you can hope for.