Speaking of #woodturning and #weed, Carl Jacobson now sells brass threaded inserts. Although these were designed for cremation urns (required in some jurisdictions), apparently it is people making woodturned stash boxes that are driving sales, prompting the addition to two smaller sizes of insert.

Which makes me wonder - if online voting was as easy and reliable as online commerce we'd probably have legalized pot everywhere.

https://nilesbottlestoppers.com/product/threaded-inserts-for-urns/

PSI sells a wide variety of woodturning kits and supplies. Among the Top 10 turning kits they sell, smoking pipes come in at #4.

Considering the number of locales in which weed remains illegal, folks in the legalized jurisdictions must be buying these up in droves to get into the #4 spot.

Instead of winter weeks, is there a burrow-dwelling animal that predicts additional inches of rain? I mean, you'd think that would be important to burrow-dwelling animals, right?

Woke up middle of the night to voices downstairs IN THE HOUSE! Was about to call 911 & remembered I have smart lights. Turned all lights downstairs on. Voices didn't pause, run out of the house, nothing.

WTF?

Went downstairs to discover the Echo device in the kitchen playing some streaming TV show for no reason.

When the adrenaline rush subsides I'm doing an Office Space and destroying the damned thing with a sledgehammer in the back yard.

Speaking of which, I'm still waiting for a prosthetic finger with a pencil lead inside so I can freak people out by using the electric sharpener in the copier room to sharpen it. If they are gonna make me go into the office they have it coming.

My hands are so full of wood glue and finish that the fingerprint reader on the laptop won't recognize me.

Good thing I enrolled the prosthetic finger I keep on a shelf as a backup.

Multi-factor Authentication achievement==Unlocked!

(Tagged as #ITSecurity #humor in case anyone thinks I'm recommending this or believe it qualifies as multi-factor. Feel free to believe I actually did it though.)

My team has a work request form in Confluence that automatically spins up a Jira story and sends a Slack alert when someone submits it.

Now if only we can enhance it to flag the ones that are laugh-out-loud funny.

Recent examples:

* Urgent request. Nothing at all specified.
* Please provide project management services. (We're an Ops/Triage team, not the PMO.)
* Please explain how to request work from your team.

Momma said find a job you love. I say find one that makes you laugh.

Wife texted from the store to ask if she should pick up any Brazil nuts.

I told her no. Congress is is session so leave him alone and he will find his way back to his office on his own.

https://www.newsbreak.com/news/2903733793786/george-santos-new-treasurer-says-he-doesn-t-work-for-him-and-that-his-name-was-signed-without-his-consent

Me opening vendor support ticket: We experienced problem 'x' and followed the recovery instructions from the manual. It didn't work, we are still down.

Every vendor on the planet: For problem 'x', follow the recovery instructions in the manual. [Includes link to instructions I said we'd tried]

Someone should make a list of vendors who actually read the ticket. It'd be a short list but popular.

Yesterday at breakfast my wife said "We've been together more than 40 years. Do you think we could ever get back that feeling we had when we were kids and the relationship was new?"

I said "Sure!" After work took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her mom's house.

She spent the rest of the night wondering whether I was marriage material.

Mission accomplished!

#humor

I designed an ice cream scoop handle thick enough to remain sturdy after carving finger grooves, then turned it on the lathe and put the kit together.

My wife's response on seeing it was "why'd you stick an ice cream scoop on the end of a dildo?"

[facepalm]

But she gave me the idea for a business repairing wooden sex toys called "The Hickory Dickery Doc". Business filings to follow as soon as I resolve some sticky issues regarding the satisfaction guarantee.

When watching woodturning videos, it is customary to take a drink every time the presenter says "piece of ash".

#humor

https://youtu.be/a0v-6yZ2IwI

Pizza cutter works! Funny how making your own utensils makes the food taste better. 😋

The pizza and cutter are sitting on an end-grain cutting board that I made a couple years back. That was before I bought the lathe. These days I hardly do anything with wood that isn't lathe turned so we'll have to make this one last.

The national Holidays calendar I imported has a typo. I spent most of the day thinking it was Year of the Rabbi.

Which I'm sure my Aussie friends would see as an improvement.

Did someone say pizza cutter? #hotoffthelathe today is a monster sized pizza cutter from Wood River. I used one of the #scrapwoodchallenge blanks from the previous post to turn a handle. I love the green poplar contrasting with almost black wenge and the white ash. Going to try it out tonight!

#woodturning #woodworking

Getting tired of cedar pen pix? Yeah, me too. But I do need to keep using scrapwood because I'm getting buried in it. So for today's #scrapwoodchallenge I laminated some blanks to turn handles from. The first is for a pizza cutter and the others might be for screwdriver, kitchen utensils or something else.

#woodworking #woodturning

#hotoffthelathe today is an Apollo style twist pen. I'm so glad I kept using up the off-cuts from the last bowl because this one has a little detail at the tip that is unique and whimsical yet natural. Can you spot it?

Wife said this antique brass is her favorite trim color with the cedar barrels so far. I agree.

Tired of flying around looking for food, the hawk tested a theory that if it just sat in one place long enough the food would come to it.

I propose a new rule for pollsters:

Instead of saying things like "52% of voters..." they should be required to say "52% of voters who are so desperate for human contact that they still pick up for unknown callers..."

I have absolutely zero confidence that the population reachable by pollsters is representative of me or anyone I know.