Wife from kitchen: [mumble]

Me: Speak up! Did you say we are out of time?

Wife: Yes.

Me: Did we have an appointment today?

Wife: No.

Me: Are you leaving me?

Wife [louder now]: No, you idiot, but I'm considering it! THYME. T. H. Y. M. E. We are out of thyme.

Me: Oh. Pretty sure we have parsley, sage AND rosemary, though.

Wife: OK, now I *am* leaving you.