quickfics🍌🐕 👈
Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome sufferer
Uncle Bubba
Joined Nov 2017
When my dad moved from Wyoming, the rest of his family stayed behind in Casper. It was nice having them watch over us from above the fireplace as I was growing up.
Back Row: Grampy Larny, cousin Arsin, cousin Elmot and his wife Fanta, cousin Larnda, Butcher Steve
Sitting: Grampy Darl, Aunt Tanny
Dog: Stoppit
Every day I am thankful I chose to go to the dog shelter when I did. Any other day -- or any other hour or minute -- I could have missed adopting and bringing my best buddy home.
My dog will always poop in the tallest patch of weeds in the only yard where the owner is relaxing on his front porch.
You use a unicycle seat to kill ONE party clown and that's all anybody remembers you for.
Tax-deductible or not, my yearly Adobe CC membership charge always makes me:
Each night for the last month Pennycat has left one of her little stuffed mice on my pillow, like it's a hotel room chocolate candy.
I guess she's decided I'm her boyfriend now.
It's only taken two years.
This is the bottom line about police shootings, as adroitly pointed out by Rob Beschizza:
• If they're afraid, they can kill you.
• If you resist arrest, they can kill you.
• If someone says there's a gun, they can kill you.
• Guns are for whites.
I'm sharing pretzel sticks with my dog. I know they aren't good for him, but he just quit smoking.
My grandmother Giulia Rosa Gianna Tustle née Scotti, born in Bagheria, Palermo, Sicily. She was a sweet old lady who really knew how to please everybody with her meatballs.
Love you, Nonna!
I don't understand this ad?
Rosemary Creamy Chicken Pasta
Tested and approved.
https://simply-delicious-food.com/rosemary-cream-chicken-pasta/
Link to Twitter, but eff-it.
I love this dog.
Advice for those who need it:
If you are thinking of doing something stupid: don't do it.
If you are currently doing something stupid: cut it the hell out.
Dumbass.
I grew up in the '70s.
I walked to and from school without an adult.
I took a shortcut commonly called "The Ditch."
At recess I played on metal climbing structures on concrete.
I rode a bicycle without a helmet.
We went to the movies often, and I saw a bunch of stuff that would be considered inappropriate by today's standards.
I rode in the bed of a pickup truck.
When I was in a car, I didn't wear a seat belt.
Never once did I fear getting shot in school.
I'm not sure I would have moved to the Pacific NW had I known every damned thing was made from sourdough.
quickfics🍌🐕 👈
boosted
@evamarie mind if we dance wit yo dates?
I'm an ice-chewer.
It strains relationships.
quickfics🍌🐕 👈
boosted
@quickfics nothing like a good days pay🤑
Me and my best friends (Gerkin and Fensil) had an a cappella group called The Three Little Shirts. Our best gig was filling in for the guy who played spoons at the Elk's Lodge #17 in Denver.
We sang for three hours, and were paid with all the clam dip we could eat and three packs of pornographic playing cards.
quickfics🍌🐕 👈
Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome sufferer
Uncle Bubba
Joined Nov 2017