@Madken65 I've said it before, I'll say it again. Please, no homage.

Cash only.

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two - one to change the lightbulb and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I meant ladder.

First day of the new job at Boeing went really well! My coworkers all seem super nice. Didn’t get near an aeroplane yet but the mandatory training video taught me how to silently strangle a whistleblower. My manager said we can wear jeans on casual Fridays

@Madken65 You're funny, but looks aren't everything...

@Madken65 I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night...

2: Saw a carpenter arguing with the cook.
They were going at it hammer and tongs.

1: I was asked to put relish on the shopping list.
Now I can't read it.

4: Surgeon: Relax David, this is a small surgery. No need to panic.

Patient: My name is not David.

Surgeon: No, my name is David.

3: Rick Astley is happy to lend you any movie from his collection.

Except that one Pixar animation.

@Madken65 No. I have a headache scheduled…

@Say_what_now Tartan, actually, outside North America. Plaid within NA. That particular pattern is the Clan Fraser of Lovat Modern Dress tartan. My late father's grandfather's spectacularly appropriate Scottish name was William Wallace Fraser.

2: If I'm being subjective, l'd say my favourite band is The Who.

If I was being objective, l'd say it was The Whom.

1: Doctor: Do you smoke or drink alcohol?

Me: I drink it.

4: Jumped on the tube earlier today.
Toothpaste went everywhere!

3: I try to make fancy, posh breads, but they always come out the same.
I'm stuck with the status dough.

@TheAbbotTrithemius Living with and distracted by intense pain from a formerly infected knee joint. Seven long weeks in three hospitals with gym exercises daily for the final 3 weeks. Still can’t walk without a rollator walker. I get tired easily, too.

2: The Institute of Incomplete Studies have announced that 7 out of 10 people...

1: BREAKING NEWS! A man has created reverse origami.
More on this story as it unfolds.

4: Any recommendations on music to listen to while fishing Preferably something catchy...

3: I've just bought a copy of Kleptomaniacs Weekly.
Well, I say bought...

2: Q: If Mr. Spock has pointed ears, what does Mr. Scott have?

A: Engineers.

1: I was so unpopular in high school that they used to call me "Batteries."
I was never included in anything.

4: There's no need to hold grudges. begin your revenge plans immediately.

3: I take anti-rejection meds because I just want people to like me.

The sheep spend their whole lives fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd.
Once you understand this statement the game changes and you start to understand politics.

@Say_what_now In the US its brand names in Nucynta or Nucynta ER (Extended Release).

The older I get, the more I have in common with computers.
We both start out with lots of memory and drive, then we become outdated, crash unexpectedly, and eventually have to have our parts replaced!

Almost 9 pm now, I arrived home from the rehab hospital at around 11:30 am. Nor feeling a lot of pain because I've taken a Tapentadol tablet which starts working around 15 minutes after being taken and the effect lasts between 4 and 6 hours. it's similar in pain control ability to oxycodone but with fewer and less severe side effects.