Other than the alliteration and continuation of the animal thread, this really isn't funny...so I'm removing.
Please tell me I didn't upset you with my (admittedly awful & tasteless) jokes about my cats.
If so, I apologize, and will offer you one (1) Lucky Cat's Paw at half price - a generous offer if I do say so myself.
Lemme go get the poultry shears; BRB
Hey, uhm...
If you just happened to use some heavy duty shears to obtain a Lucky Cat's Paw, and can't get the bleeding to stop, any recommendations...?
ASKING FOR A FRIEND
@netspionage @BlueStateBabe
Is the bleeding from you?
Tampons, stick tampons into the claw holes. And instant glue. Field medicine MacGyvering is needed!
If cat, use whatever you can if you can catch the cat. Murder muffins are difficult!
๐
@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
Once you get both the rear paws off, it really hinders their ability to jump ๐น๐น๐น
("Yes, Officer, this post right here")
@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
Man, I am sooooo going to jail ๐น๐น๐น๐น
@netspionage @BlueStateBabe
๐๐๐
But just think, no one waking you up for treats and feedings!
@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
Yes, how could I forget the joys of starting my day with a cat's anus mere inches from my face ๐น๐คฎ
@netspionage @BlueStateBabe
And the bonus when they fart!
@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
Ew ew ew ew ๐คฎ
@Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
...and not being woken up every ~6 hours because they're *starving* to death... ๐๐ธ
@netspionage @Fiikus_goddess @BlueStateBabe
Dunno, at least you have something to look up to.
@netspionage
No, no. When I saw the #cocainebearsequels hashtag, I was just running thru animals and drugs in my head and hit upon rohypnol hippo, but then images of Bill Cosby's victims swam in my head and the last thing I wanted to do was make a joke of date rape. Clever alliteration. But not funny. So I removed.