"Hello, ASPCA? I would like to lodge a formal complaint regarding animal abuse. First, the human has an annoying tendency to kiss me on the top of the head, which I find immensely irritating; second, it's been nearly SIX WHOLE HOURS since I was last fed. Please send someone over for a wellness check."
@netspionage you're about to get a smackdown. 😼
@netspionage why does this human refuse to listen to me?
@Jezibaba
Now he's licking my arm in an *extremely* aggressive fashion. He will likely continue to do so until either
-he rasps the flesh off my bones, or
-he gets fed lunch