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I wonder
Can I find the words today
What light
The mist is gone
My world no longer grey
All the weight
Of all my yesterdays
Lifted and lit with celestial light
From the rising east
The whole of the sky
The lemon gold
Of autumn in Verona
And the moor burns bright
With copper fire
No such thing as black or white
Everything alight
Even the magpie's white is golden
And her black back
A royal sheen
of green and blue

My world made small
By the mist,
falling rain
Spray and hissing
Sombre warnings
This dark, grey morning.
I can touch my horizons
And the damp walls
Are crowding me
But there she is
A silver bird
Proud,
Surrounded by
her watching guards
Out on the grey-green meadow

Out into the regreening rain
Rivers of it,
running down the drain
Little islands of snow remain
Dotted round in hollows
Diminishing
Whilst adding to the flow
Shifting shape
As I go
So that when I return
The place looks different again
And all I had to do
Was go outside
Be patient,
Focus on the task at hand
and ride.

The wind sings mournful
Over the snow-soft moor
Desolate lonely music.
I wait by the gate
To smile at the lapwing
And listen to the merry larks rising
And wonder at the Curlew music everywhere, all at once
Now, the silent-not-silence is sad,
and I wonder about beauty
And how it is lost.
And then you arrived
Just when I needed you most
The white of the fallen snow
Reveals your feathers to be gold
Your soft face glowing, warm
And just for a moment
I believe again

Winter whitelands
Mist and glistening crystal
Fine snow
whispers under my wheels
There's a risk of slipping
Balance and care
Are the orders of the day
Deer tracks, hare runs
and little mouse trails
I wonder, were they dancing
to the soft music I can hear
Flowing from the tinkling hedge
Bright with Goldfinch tinsel
And do they dance in summer too?

Chuckling fieldfares
And bundles of blackbirds
Shaking loose crystal
from the dark hawthorn tree
I can see through the cloud
Of my frosty breath
To the white of the icy moss
The gently rounded wingbeat
Of a dignified Heron
Sails before a golden sun
Flying into his morning
And the light shines up
From the icy road
Blinding me
And illuminating my way.

Three granite giants
Precariously balanced
Love, choice and courage
About them,
Empty words flow
Like drifting snow
and blistering frost
Looking like the whole world
might tumble
In the freeze-thaw
of a winter morning
The sun is magnified
By the drifting mist
The white moor is
Cold with gold
And soft pink clouds of
Cotton candyfloss
And mysterious birds
From far-off places
Sing a strange music
To the moon

A hard frost
Footprints in the garden
Six geese sail before
A silver moon
Over the arc
Of a clear blue sky
Towards the bright vermillion sun
That breaks the broad horizon
With a smile
The geese, now golden
Call with wild abandon
Trumpeting in this glorious day
And I could see for ever.
The moon now bluer
Sinks towards the rocking stone
At Sleepy Lowe.

A full moon
Low and silver glowing
Lights my crystal road
Lilac tints departing night
A pearly brightness
On the lonely cloud
To the east a gold horizon
Ushers in the enchanted day.
I felt an answer to a prayer
And took a road I seldom take
And there,
as if suspended on a wing
Your pale face looking back at me
Soft as light
Upon the edge of day and night
You searching
And I, connected by my prayer
To your beauty.

First snow,
a biting wind
The taste of sleet
on my lips and tongue
Sharp crystals,
quickly melting
Fresh and sweet
Like mountain streams
Blizzards at the summit
Face blasted
by the bitter grittiness
Of a northeasterly gale
And I think about the swallows
In their palaces
Sweeping through the softer airs
Of southerly summers.

The road is white
with crystal light
And fields are bright
With frost,
Chilly air and whisps of mist
Over silver streams
And underneath cold bridges
A roe deer waits upon the brittle hill
Her puffs of breath, like little thoughts
Rise up and melt away
Like a knowing,
Half forgotten.
She turns
and races up between the rocks
Running
like wild water flowing.

Golden sun
Low to the east
Rolling slowly
Along the top of the wall
Hiding behind stones
Then blinding me
With jagged beams
Of blazing light
The dancing silhouette
of a wren, wall-fluttering
Time bomb ticking
Tail cocked, flickering
There's a bronze Buzzard
On a sparkling wall
Then carried away
Up into the cold blue morning
On languid silvered wings

The golden sun
exactly where it should be
In the right part of the sky
The whole of the world
Is glowing
Glitter glinting
from the pools
And geese are calling
on the green
A cold, clear air
Blows down the hill
The road is shining
Bright with crystal light
Gulls cry
Above the frosty edge
Nothing extraordinary
Is happening
Nothing at all.

A wild day
Grey
Howling winds
Warm enough
Under my layer
Risk prowls the road
Like a cunning fox
High horses are prancing
In conditioned air
I'm expecting
Our worlds to collide
A Kestrel hovers
On her high wire
Patient
Allowing it to pass
Chestnut feathers
ruffled by velocity
Embraced by the force
Of the flows of air
Then she cuts loose
And swoops.

Wild music is playing
At the cathedral of hope
A peregrine calls
From the face of beauty
I can feel the energy
In my bones
Buoyed by love
And the ghosts of the past
My beautiful yesterdays
Are all of my tomorrows
There is so much kindness
Inside us
And joy can make you fly

There is peace here
In the cloudy waters
Tumbling and rushing
Underneath and around us
A hurried embrace
A wild unfolding
Standing on the bridge of my day
Under tall towers
Whose stones shine brightly
Even when it is dark
And the windows
Revealing their secret
Lit by the light within
And I was waiting for beauty
Without noticing
It had already arrived.

I like to be just here
On the very top edge of the mist
Where the sky turns bright
And the sun shines
Pale and white
Like a ghost of herself
Where the shapes of the hills
Are hidden then revealed
And the grey, transformed
To the green of the field
And it seems that the world
Could be remade.
And I wonder
How beautiful that might be
And what has she learned
Along the way
That might help?
What would you do
If you could rub it all out
And start all over again?

Thick fog
Heavy as wool
Grandma's blankets
Tight up around the shoulders
Weighing me down
Smothering me kindly
With love
I feel held by this softness.
Her beauty, the Wren
Magnified by the mist
Sits atop the thorn
And sings of his triumph
There's no need to hide any more.

Wild, grey ghosts
Are marching on the moor
Too many to count
They fill my world
And windowsills.
She dies a little more
Every day,
Her ivory breastbone
Is all that is left.
Weather-bleached
And ivory-white
The tight-sprung
Heart of her delight
And mine.
And oh, my father visited yesterday
Falling softly
From the pages of a book
He was singing
'Is my team a'ploughing?'
I wonder
Does he know if I'm ok?

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matty7w

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