Ive needed help for so long and there just isn't. I know, the world is fucked up and everyone needs help, but some of us were really fucked up and needed help when things were relatively 'normal' but when you add a global trauma on top of all the other personal ones it feels like swimming with bodies tied to your feet. I've needed a win for so long and I'd hoped that this release would be it but its been the opposite. I can't even pull it down. I dont want to do music, art or anything anymore.
@damselfly59 I don't know how to. Its never felt like strength because its never felt like a choice. I had to write, or draw, or make music, something to be able to figure out what I'm feeling but I'm overwhelmed by them, not just my own but everyone around me, the grief, the anxiety, the rage. I feel like its crawling up my throat like burning acidic bile and its strangling me from the inside. I don't want to feel anymore.
@lilyunsub
I know that feeling. My plate is full these days too. I come here to fill my soul back up.
On the really hard days I put one foot in front of the other and go thru the motions.
I find one small beauty to shield me. A flower even helps. Cuz for some reason I am here to make a ripple.
You make tidal waves.
Rest awhile and find a foothold.
@damselfly59 is a flower if you need it. Though you have to turn the pieces back together ❤ relentless forward progress.
@lilyunsub
💗 I do. Thank you! Anything you need anytime is yours.
Foot forward.
@lilyunsub I was wondered if you had to deal in person with other people reacting to your work. I can’t imagine how hard that would be.
I hope you can find a way to protect yourself and establish boundaries so that you can keep doing you, working on your own paths.
I know nothing about resources for help in NZ, but it is sure challenging to find help you can trust and that actually makes a difference.
May you find your solid ground.
❤️
@Esther to be honest, I'd only been there for one person reacting in person and they kidnapped me so I haven't actually drawn much since then, been trying to figure out how to reclaim being able to do it again. NZ's very very understaffed in the mental health area (there is an 18 month wait for help atm). Thank you though, really appreciate your words ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
@lilyunsub
Noooooooooooooo. 💔
Your work is too intense, beautiful and important.
On its own it stands
But add the incredible window into your strength in self healing and it is miraculous, inspirational...all the words I don't know how to use...
This Armageddon will end. We need you to help us through it.💜