I regret to inform you that I have been Goncharov-pilled

#StarTrek #Goncharov #scorsese

SPOUSE: did your get the inflatable bounce house for the kids?

ME, HALFWAY THROUGH INFLATING A GERMAN ART SCHOOL: uh oh

I hate when people say "eat a bag of dicks" as an insult. A whole bag? In this economy? You got bag of dicks money?

*narrows eyes*

You wouldn't write it like that unless you poisoned the firgs

For sale: Baby, won't stop selling its shoes.

imagine being on a starship that's getting digested by some giant space amoeba because you believed the starfleet recruiter outside your high school who said this would help your music career

#StarTrek #USMilitary

When I was a kid, I thought people who got married in film were married for real. That's not uncommon, but I also used to get really mad about it if the movie was bad, but I thought the actors were making a good sacrifice if I enjoyed the show.

Be careful, trans activists will influence your children! They might end up wanting to change their name to just the most badass thing you've ever heard like Squid Deathblade or something. Watch out so they don't end up with the sickest name imaginable

Health experts say the leading cause of dread is getting a notification on social media that your aunt commented when you posted something political

I don't know much, but I know this is where all the space aliens are hiding

Star Trek episode about the Twitter migration "The Trouble With Tribels" thanks folks I'll be here all week

#StarTrek #tribel

Return of the Jedi, but with Vader's last word being "rosepod"

#StarWars

After seeing the Earth from the moon, Neil Armstrong said it changed his perception of humanity. Before there were arbitrary divisions and strife, but afterwards he only saw one people, all losers who hadn't been on the moon ever.

#NASA #NeilArmstrong #Space #Apollo11 #LunarExploration #TheMoon

[after going through the witness protection program]

SUPER MARIO: Its-a me, Phillip Smith!