.

How to put a condom onto a banana.

I'm calling the law!

Same, girl. Same.

🎶From the window, to the wall!
The bathroom down the hall!
Boxes stacked up six feet tall!
Classified documents free-for-all!
Word was on the street, mthrfckr!
"Read from the toilet seat!", Goddamn!
Lindsey, MTG, & Tucker
All peeked peeked, mthrfcker!
All peeked peeked goddamn!🎶

.

Them: "What's your favorite book?"

Linda, with a tattered copy of 50 Shades of Grey on her nightstand, that she's read over and over, and a Bible that she hasn't even cracked the spine on:
"The Bible"

.

For some reason, possibly a grudge against myself, I let my mind wander into the depths of Hell by pondering what it might sound like if Bob Dylan were to sing Comfortably Numb. Now the first verse is stuck in my head, in his voice, on a loop. 😭😭😭

A flower delivery truck pulled up today. By the time I made it to the door, it was already backing out of the driveway. The driver quickly rolled down his window and shouted, "Sorry! Wrong address!" It must have been a bouquet of Oopsie Daisies. 🤷🏻

😭😭😭

.

.

I'm assuming that, since a few manbaby tantrums over rainbows made Target switch from "Woke" to "Diet Woke", they'll do the same with camo patterned clothing if enough people pitch a fit. After all, it's worn by hunters who use guns, which might make some shoppers uncomfortable.

The same people who mock Biden for stumbling, resorted to brainwashing themselves with AI cartoon & superhero bodies that have TFG's head photoshopped onto them, so they can ignore the reality of what terrible condition he is actually in. They can't handle seeing the real him.

A dog stealing your shoes, so you can't leave the house, is so old school. Mine steals my orthopedic insoles. I can still leave the house, but she has the satisfaction of knowing I'm suffering the whole time I'm out.

Easy Peezy Woman Sneezy