Guy: Bro, have you heard about Hawk Tuah?

Hawk: We, uh... We just call it "Tuah."

The "everything sucks" phase of my life kinda sucks.

They should add a dislike button to reality.

I’m running away because reality doesn’t love me.

Can't decide which I find more baffling: the continued fascination with fireworks in the year 2024 or the fact that everyone in the immediate area has access to an unlimited supply of them.

Blast from the past? When I'm absolutely inundated with blasts from the present?

New comic! Wherein the guys reflect on the state of things.

In a world where bad people are constantly winning, why *wouldn't* the rest of us aspire to villainy?

In the absence of financial security or pure ignorance, I have no idea how anyone can be an optimist in this country.

Seems like expecting any human being to behave in good faith is just about the stupidest fucking thing one can do.

SCOTUS is like, “Checks AND balances? In THIS economy?!”

So has this entire timeline just been a prequel to the Purge franchise?

I'd call enduring the worst tragedy of my life without a support network my supervillain backstory... if the experience hadn't robbed me of the drive and energy to pursue supervillainy.

Rise AND shine? In THIS economy?!

You can just say “on the internet.” The “angry” is implied.

America: Love it, leave it, or grudgingly remain in it because you're emotionally numb and financially drained from existing in it.

America: Love it, leave it, or much better third thing.

My toxic trait is believing things might get better.

A GRAIN of salt? In THIS economy?!

I'm a risk-taker, but not a "purchase replicas of evil objects from horror movies" risk-taker.