My brain 24/7.

An alternate cut of Inside Out 2 in which Anxiety is super-chill due to becoming the most popular emotion ever overnight.

When someone says, "Just go with the flow," I hear "Allow the universe to be a dick without complaint."

I've been wanting this since I was 14, and my only complaint is that it had to happen *after* I lost the ability to enjoy things.

Smoke AND mirrors? In THIS economy?!

Me and my intrusive thoughts.

In honor of Donald Duck's 90th birthday, I intend to get explosively angry and rant incoherently in response to every minor inconvenience that rears its head.

2024 Dolly Parton's like, "Workin' nine to six because you're not paid for your lunch break and then doing a bunch of unpaid work at home because your employer demands an unreasonable level of control over your life!"

Triggered by any piece of media in which the protagonist's problems are more manageable than mine.

New comic! Wherein the guys celebrate National Donut Day.

My life feeling like a cosmic joke makes me long for days of my life feeling like a terrestrial joke.

Very cool how recent events have made me terrified of deriving any enjoyment from life, lest the universe once again yank the rug out from under me.

I would consider it a favor if everything could stop sucking in perpetuity.

And here I thought I didn't test well.

Me: Ahhhh, it feels good to cry...

Me 30 seconds later: Fucking fuck! My fucking eyes burn!

Very cool that recent events have rendered me so emotionally numb that I was able to derive zero joy from the Trump verdict.

Not to brag, but I could ace the shit out of any stress test.

So, like, this is broken for EVERYONE, right?

*gestures to the universe*

Survive the apocalypse? I'm barely surviving whatever the fuck this is.

Just caught myself muttering, “It doesn’t matter, nothing matters, I don’t matter,” in case anyone’s looking for a slogan to slap on a coffee mug.