My attention span for books completely tanked, and I was a reading the back of a cereal box person, on Election night of 2016.
I don't think people understand that when people lose themselves in a book they can't absorb outside information, and I have to absorb that information to make sure that we all survive.
I miss books.
I need us to live.
Sorry, books. I miss you.

In the 80s a classmate said You have Michael Jackson arms, and I was thrilled. And then he said, "You have monkey arms," and I hit him.
I got sent to the office.

16 was coming apart looking up in the cabinet and I said, "What's wrong?"
"I can't reach the Goldfish Crackers."
Me- "Then let me do it with what were apparently freakish long arms in school but have served me well as an adult even though I often need a goddamn step stool."
My kid- Oh.
Me- "Child if I was going to be made fun of for these arms putting them to use is best. Always come to me. Sometimes we might need the step stool."
My child has beautiful arms.
Thank goodness.
#Parenting

Tomorrow I am going to try my best to announce everything I do in one single thread.
Because I am that obnoxious twunt.
And Because no one owes you their time here.

#SocialMedia

Younger son - "EYE GHOST!"
Me- "you have ocular migraine."
Younger son - "ALL DONE BY AUGUST 29th!"
Me- "No. But you won't listen."

#migraines

Younger son - "When is Shrek on?"
Me- "I don't know and I don't care. Shrek bores me."
Younger son - "Why are you so mad?"
"I'm not mad. I just disagree. With you. Which means I am mad? NOW I AM MAD. Let's talk about opinion and how it isn't facts!"
Son- oh fuck

#Parenting
#GenX

Younger son just now watching Ant Man

"Superhero wings! Superhero wings!"
Me "I don't understand what you're saying."
"WHO IS SUPERHERO WINGS?"
"Thanks. Falcon."
"I love Falcon!!!!!"

And yes, folks, Black people can inspire white people.

Make the movies.
#MCU

I got the show 16 and I are watching loaded up on MAX.
Younger son ran in upset because his WiFi wasn't working.
I fixed it.
16 and I started to watch our show.
A dog started barking at a bunny in the yard.
Younger son flipped out due to fight or flight because suddenly barking.
I settled.
16 and I finally watched show.
I don't know what happens to people where they think a person is only online.

But here

I completed making dinner.
I made sure everyone had dinner.
I got in between the dogs trying to screw around during dinner.
I ate my dinner.
I got everyone settled.
I cleaned up the kitchen.
My kid was ready to watch our show. My younger kid wanted The Avengers on TV.
I hooked up my younger son and got a drink for my older son.
My husband, still working, came in to say goodnight.
We helped the dogs calm down.
#Household

Because I will not be pushed into engagement on anyone else's time.

Thanks.
Have a great weekend.

Hi everyone!
I have a life with my family outside of social media, and I have shit to do with that family.
I don't announce everything I do because frankly it's boring to everyone else and also none of your business.
If I leave a thread I'm engaged in it's because I have to do other things, and the Internet is the least important thing to me.
We good?

People were so INVESTED in believing that sawdust hoax that they screamed at me when I tried to explain plant cellulose.
And that's when I started backing away from FB.
These were otherwise intelligent people. Not RWNJ.
Most of them heavily Left.
It was crazy.

In case anyone else believes that there is wood in cheese- https://abbeythefoodscientist.com/is-there-really-wood-pulp-and-sawdust-in-your-parmesan-cheese/

Remember that huge Facebook freakout your friends threw over "sawdust" (plant cellulose) being added to Shaky Cheese to prevent caking and no matter what you said they continued to believe that it was sawdust?
Anyway. Eff FB.
Yay Shaky Cheese.
#Spaghetti
#Food

Anyway. Spaghetti tonight.

Fellow transplants from the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast to anywhere -
If you need a jarred marinara sauce that tastes exactly like your favorite strip mall pizza joint that had pasta and it was incredible despite the fact that everyone in the area knew it was a front for money laundering by the Mafia -
This is exactly what you want. Been using it exclusively for about 2 years now.

#Food

My nicotine gum has been delivered!
I had to shop around.
The drug store prices are nuts.
So tomorrow I get to wake up and use the gum before the coffee because there are rules for eating and drinking.
I drink water all day long so I'm going to have to set timers.

#FutureExSmoker

I needed to run to the grocery store for a few things and the kids wanted to go.
Before we were even out of the driveway they were fighting to the point where I stopped the van, put it in park, and said, "Everybody out."
They unhooked themselves and went into the house and I ran to the store in silence.
That was nice.
#GenX
#Parenting

Thank you everyone! Please feel free to share a screenshot elsewhere as well.
I appreciate it.

Just spotted in Franklin County NC.
Please share

#LivingDonors