At a certain point, as you round the corner of your 30s and your 40s come into view, the human body makes a transition from wonderland to Cronenberg film. If you’re lucky it happens so gradually that your mind doesn’t register the abject horror of it.

And that is my wish for everyone. May your body ease into the Cronenberg stage with caution and finesse rather than merely careening into it as though loosed from the back of a jackknifing flatbed in a burning barrel roll.