“I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers…bull dykes, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”

I'm absolutely can't breathe with laughter here!

Blazing Saddles. 1974.

Thanks, @geo.tirebiter73 for favouriting my status!

When I'm doing an online survey and they want to know my gender so they ask ''How Do You Identify?''

Sadly, they never let me reply with ''As A Weirdo!''

@AskTheDevil Thanks, you certainly did!

@AskTheDevil

HA HA HA! I love your humour!

True Facts!

1-It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.

2-A human hair can hold 3kg.

3-The length of a penis is 3 times the length of a thumb.

4-The femur is as hard as concrete.

5-A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

6-Women blink twice as much as men.

7-We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance.

8-A woman has read this entire post.

9-A man is still looking at his thumb!

So, Catherine and William are scrapping over where Prince George should be educated at 13.

He wants him to go to his old place, Eton College, she doesn't want him going to an all-boys.

Helloooo! Wake up you two! Why not do the adult thing and ASK GEORGE where he wants to be educated? He's got another 3 years to think about it yet! It's HIS schooling, not yours after all!

A friend gave us this Biscuit Hamper yesterday from Kingstons. 50 Gold Teabags 156g, Choc Crest Biscuits 150g, Triple Choc Cookies 200g, Shortbread Rounds 200g, White Chock/Lemon Cookies 150g, Ginger Snaps 300g. When contents are gone we'll still keep the gorgeous box!

Q-What do a piece of toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common?

A-They both circle Uranus on a mission to wipe out the Klingons!

In bed this morning flat on my back with our little cat sleeping on my right shoulder, and within a second it felt like my back had literally done what it is in this picture! SODDIN' PAINFUL! I've taken some Paracetamol!

Germany.... you make beautiful sausages!

YIPPEEEDOOO! I've oft off from work the 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th December and 1st January! I'll be ensconced in our flat with our 7 kids! OK, they're a cat, 5 fish and a shrimp but they're our kids!

Got a pack from the Co-Op yesterday, will leave them in the fridge for a week then they'll be lovely and icy when sliding down my throat!