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I can't watch any more of this. The bullshit coming from the NCGOP is astounding.

Hold On Song.

Artist-Alessia Cara
Song-Scars to Your Beautiful

Reason-Don't change who you are just because others don't get or like it.


Link youtube.com/watch?v=MWASeaYuHZ

Artist-Rilo Kiley
Song-Better Son/Daughter

Reason-An accurate reflection of what it's like for someone with bipolar or similar.


Link youtube.com/watch?v=g8uHbf0TkQ

Tough day today. High pain from mowing yesterday. High anxiety from <looks around> everything else.

I am stating here that I will go somewhere Saturday. Maybe that will help make it happen. That will make 56 days since I've left the house.

As I have previously mentioned, my brain does weird things with music cues. I almost always have some music in my head that was triggered by a word, phrase, or observation. When it's really bad it can happen rapid fire. For example:

One of us
(bass line from Just the Two of Us)

needs to go to the store
("Going to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches"

probably before the storm comes.
(Opening keyboard Riders on the Storm)

Etc.

Trans Day of Visibility is the one day a year I figure my brother possibly hears about trans people and I hope he has even the tiniest bit of remorse for cutting me off from the family.

Heads up for all you mentally healthy folks.

When a person has a major depressive cycle or when they seemingly crash it is NOT the most recent thing that caused it.

It is almost always the result of a house of cards toppling. What brought this on may be as small as spilling their drink. But it starts a chain reaction neither you nor they can't stop. You can't see the whole emotional catastrophe in progress. They probably can't right then either.

Offer support and love.

Song: Halestorm - Raise Your Horns

Why: A supportive anthem of fortitude and courage.

(Thanks @VenomousHeroine)

youtube.com/watch?v=PYNYjBS20b8


One thing I am always upfront about is my struggle with bipolar disorder. In recent years I've found myself drawn to restoration videos on YT. Be it paintings, tools, toys or whatever. Lately I've wondered why.

Restoration takes something damaged or ruined and patiently brings it back to an acceptable condition. Watching these reminds me that, however broken I feel, it can be repaired and restored. And somehow, that helps.

vent

I've always had a "quirk" where, sometimes, I find song cues everywhere*. It can be indirect or direct. Whether I want it or not. I won't just think of the song, I'll hear it in my head*. Or at least the relevant parts. Being bi-polar, when I am in a slightly more manic phase*, I often just blurt it out. Drives my wife crazy*. In the past few years it's been increasing in frequency and is unsettling to say the least.

Spectrum?

* each asterisk was a song trigger.

Major panic attack last night, migraine in the morning. Sunday Funday!

Song: Saje - I Am Light (India Arie Cover)

Why: Very centering, calming, building confidence.

youtube.com/watch?v=_RwdCMrZcg


Hey CoSo.. if you're a person who fights depression and a person who is emotionally affected by music, check out my pinned post. You deserve a lift.


Song: Avi Kaplan - I'll Get By

Why: Reminder that everyone has burdens and someone it there it just trying, like me, to get by.

t.co/6BC9HXM1vr


Song: Flares - The Script

Why: Hang on. Once the smoke clears, you'll see you aren't alone.

youtube.com/watch?v=r7jaXI6oXp


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