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A village was terrorized by a tiger. It was a brave and dangerous animal, and would sneak up on the humans and attack and kill them swiftly. It stuck quietly and no one ever knew who would be attacked next.

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Capitalism: It's the best system in every situation.

Hospitals: We need to fire nurses during this health crisis because even though we're full of people, we're not doing profitable surgeries so that we can pay them.

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This weekend is a trip to Roanoke! Excited.

There will be a visit to a Vans store and Red Robin and cheering for @catbuttsmakemenuts!

Listening to Pod Save America this morning, one of the hosts asks “What are we going to do with the Americans who refuse to get vaccinated?”

My answer is: Break down their doors, strap them down, give them the injection and compliment their excellent gun collection and leave them really confused.

Cat failed his cat roll this morning and fell off the table between the table and the window blinds.

I don’t have blinds on that window anymore, but I have a priceless memory of a cat being a total spaz.

I am very worried that I have a small crack in my French press.

“Ellie! Come for morning cuddles.”

No. I sweepy. I sweep at foot of bed.

*cat enters* I am Sunny and I would like cuddles.

*dog rushes over* “I UNDERSTAND YOU NEED NON-STUPID CAT CUDDLES.”

/me looks up from his work and sees that the switch is named “SKARF” and starts giggling.

(Yes, I am aware that this is Snarf - but still.)

In terms of Madoff’s death earlier today, check out “Ponzi Supernova” with interviews from the thief himself. Very interesting.

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/

They need to start hiring police officers based off of how good they can do sound effects and less on how well they can shoot brown people.

I don’t remember the reason I got a refrigerator whiteboard anymore.

Life is pretty much countless “I just looked at the clock and only 2 minutes passed since the last time?” until you die.

“Big River Robot, play “Forever Linda Lee.”

“PLAYING PHARELL LINDSEY.”

“No, play “Forever Linda Lee.”

“PLAYING CELINE DION.”

“NO DEAR GOD NO PLEASE STOP DEAR GOD STOP THE PAIN.”

Patternshift - Forever Linda Lee

youtu.be/HsNnWi1WGOU



So…. I’m thinking that I might actually be Goofy Stanced on a manual board, and regular on my OneWheel.

Weird.

If your way of trying to win a MTG Arenea game is just sitting there and waiting for the person who is currently winning to concede because the end is near in 3 turns, then you're an asshole.

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Everybodyđź’•EntropyToad

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