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Banks' loans to Elmo to buy X are worthless. Who could have seen it coming, besides everyone?
https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/business-economics/elon-musks-twitter-takeover-worst-buyout-for-banks-since-financial-crash-381513/

Trump Tower Chicago

"I had the most embarrassing Freudian slip the other morning. I was having breakfast with my father, and I meant to say 'please pass the Post Toasties', but it came out as 'you miserable fuck, you ruined my life'."

Using Microsoft Word

*moves an image a mm to the left*

All texts and images shift. Four new pages appear. Paragraph breaks form a union. A swarm of commas buzzes at the window. In the distance, sirens

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Everything Trump touches dies, Tar Heel edition: One day after giving a speech in Asheville, Harris lead grows in NC

https://www.wral.com/story/harris-leads-trump-in-new-poll-of-nc-in-drastic-reversal/21577353/

I know it’s just T-shirts. It’s just signs. But it was unnerving all the same to be among so many people so in thrall to the politics of white resentment that it’s seeped into something as casual and family-friendly as a county fair.
https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/soleilho/article/dispatches-from-trump-country-19654127.php

"The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence."
- - Charles Bukowski

The barman looks up and says "Sorry, we don't serve hypothetical faster than light particles here"

A tachyon walks into a bar.

In Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos.

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I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him.

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Well played