As much as I love my mother. I am absolutely tired of watching her suffer.
I feel like I have been sitting death watch for 3 days only for it not to take her.
My mental health is suffering. It has been since August (diagnosis). November since treatment failed.
I’m sick that I feel this way.
Yours is a normal and natural reaction. I went through this as well. I know it doesn't feel good to be in this mental space, but it's a very healthy thing to (a) know what your feeling; (b) acknowledge the source of the feelings; (c) and to express your feelings in order to help diffuse them.
As my mom kept telling me before she lapsed into unconsciousness prior to dying: 'Make sure you take time for yourself and for living".
@Bliss
Thank you. I know this is normal. I have been through this before. Just not this close to home for me. Nor have I not had someone to have a degree of separation from me. I’ve always had her to help me. I’ve always been there to help her. Now neither one of us have the other.